How to avoid being a voice note bore

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{"text":[[{"start":null,"text":"<div class=\"pic\"><picture><img src=\"https://thumbor.ftacademy.cn/unsafe/1920x0/https://d1e00ek4ebabms.cloudfront.net/production/b6344eaf-e0c3-4fb7-a8f5-de167e302638.jpg\"></picture></div>"}],[{"start":8.23,"text":"As I toiled through some phone-based admin on a recent dreary morning, a notification popped up that shook me to my core. "},{"start":14.659,"text":"A friend appeared to have left a one-minute-long voice note in a 13-member group chat. "}],[{"start":20.21,"text":"What could possibly have happened, I asked myself? "},{"start":23.414,"text":"What could she have to tell the other 12 of us that demanded our immediate collective aural attention in this way? "},{"start":28.694000000000003,"text":"As I listened, intrigue gave way to indignation. "},{"start":31.787,"text":"Not only had she left a one-minute voice note in a 13-person WhatsApp group but it was directed at — and only concerned — one other person in the chat. "},{"start":39.492000000000004,"text":"My friend had flagrantly flouted voice note code and yet, with no code explicitly established, I had no way of calling her out. "}],[{"start":46.81,"text":"Voice notes are a highly divisive medium of communication. "},{"start":50.489000000000004,"text":"There are those, like me, who enjoy both leaving and (when they are used correctly) listening to them; those who enjoy receiving them but not recording them, or vice versa; and then there are those who detest them and who feel very strongly about that. "},{"start":63.894000000000005,"text":"Innumerable column inches have been devoted to decrying how invasive, self-indulgent and inconsiderate they are. "}],[{"start":70.84,"text":"It seems the haters are losing the battle, though. "},{"start":73.982,"text":"A poll conducted by YouGov for Vox last year found that 62 per cent of Americans have sent them, and about 30 per cent communicate this way on a regular basis. "},{"start":82.637,"text":"WhatsApp said in 2022 that people were sending an unbelievable 7bn voice notes a day on its platform. "},{"start":88.779,"text":"But even the voice note aficionados among us have our limits. "},{"start":92.084,"text":"All of us know a voice note bore. "},{"start":94.089,"text":"And it is time to establish some ground rules before future mornings are ruined. "}],[{"start":98.76,"text":"Debrett’s made an attempt at laying out some very basic voice note etiquette back in 2022, but it was much too prohibitive. "},{"start":105.827,"text":"It suggested limiting voice notes to less than two minutes; not using filler words such as “like”; not sending voice notes when inebriated. "},{"start":113.15700000000001,"text":"None of these rules need be adhered to. "},{"start":115.549,"text":"Indeed, one of the great joys of a voice note is that — as long as you are leaving it for someone who feels affectionately towards you, and who doesn’t hate voice notes — you can really relax and be yourself. "},{"start":125.542,"text":"“Er”, “what was I saying? ”"},{"start":127.447,"text":"hiccups and all. "}],[{"start":129.25,"text":"Which brings us to our first rule: only ever leave voice notes for someone you are confident likes you. "},{"start":134.529,"text":"A voice note is a demand on someone else’s time. "},{"start":137.447,"text":"It is also, as the detractors say, somewhat self-indulgent. "},{"start":141.552,"text":"While it is the case that a spot of self-indulgence can actually be quite healthy, it is unreasonable to expect someone who dislikes you to indulge you. "},{"start":148.869,"text":"Never argue via voice note either. "},{"start":151.187,"text":"To not allow someone to respond in real time to an accusation you are levelling at them is to emotionally torture them. "},{"start":157.004,"text":"And don’t leave a voice note when you are in a grumpy mood either — nobody wants to hear you whining. "}],[{"start":162.59,"text":"Don’t force voice notes on to those (albeit unenlightened) people who have told you they hate them, unless there is a really good reason why you cannot text instead. "},{"start":171.094,"text":"If you do, you should be open to the possibility that they will never listen to your monologue. "},{"start":175.712,"text":"Maybe that’s OK. "},{"start":177.204,"text":"After all, delivering the monologue can be rather enjoyable in itself. "}],[{"start":181.8,"text":"Making your listener wait while you talk to someone else — a boss, partner, or pet — is unacceptable. "},{"start":188.192,"text":"So is making them wait while you look for your train ticket, keys, or child. "},{"start":192.584,"text":"A “pause” function is available. "},{"start":194.514,"text":"Use it. "}],[{"start":196.3,"text":"Never give complicated instructions or directions in a voice note — these should be typed out so the other person can refer back to them. "},{"start":203.292,"text":"If you end up leaving a long voice note that contains a mixture of key information (such as a response to a specific question the other person has asked you) and rambly bits, follow it up with a text that gives the other person the important stuff so they’re not forced to listen straight away. "}],[{"start":218.12,"text":"You need not keep your messages too short. "},{"start":220.637,"text":"Some of my favourite voice-noters leave me messages of 10 minutes or more. "},{"start":224.704,"text":"Leaving a voice note that is under 10 seconds long — unless you are hilarious or the other person adores you — is irritating. "},{"start":231.247,"text":"Type it out instead. "}],[{"start":233.18,"text":"Follow the other person’s cues. "},{"start":235.422,"text":"If they are responding to your eight-minute specials with one-minute voice messages or curt texts, take the hint. "},{"start":241.002,"text":"Also, if your message is longer than about four minutes, you should be open to the possibility that the other person is going to take a long time to listen and respond. "},{"start":249.107,"text":"If your message is upwards of 10 minutes, they might never listen to it. "},{"start":252.862,"text":"Be at peace with that. "}],[{"start":255.24,"text":"All you need do, really, is remember to use a bit of common sense. "},{"start":259.519,"text":"Modern innovations need not negate good old-fashioned manners. "},{"start":262.962,"text":"And for God’s sake, unless you have won a Nobel Prize, lost a limb, or been found guilty of 34 counts of felony, never, ever, leave a voice note in a group chat. "}],[{"start":272.8,"text":""}]],"url":"https://creatives.ftacademy.cn/album/157286-1717306789.mp3"}

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How to avoid being a voice note bore

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